


Dancing Around

by existential1rony



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Best Friends, Drunk Sex, F/M, Light Angst, Partners to Lovers, What-If
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2020-12-27 12:18:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21118679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/existential1rony/pseuds/existential1rony
Summary: What happens if Jay ended up spending the night at Hailey's way back when they first started "their thing" in 5x18? What would transpire from it? Would they end up admitting their feelings sooner, or will they continue to dance around each other for another year? It definitely would be interesting.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Disclaimer: It pains me that I have to do this because I sadly still have hope in humanity and morals, but alas... It's been brought to my attention that some people have been stealing my stories. I ONLY post on FanFiction and ArchiveofourOwn... so if you come across anything of mine on Wattpad or any of the socials, please report it. Thank you! And to the offenders, be better people!]

Hailey Upton had been drowning her sorrows in whiskey when she heard the knock on the door. She suspected it was probably her partner, Jay Halstead, coming to check on her. There was no one else she could think of showing up this late. If so, this would be a first for them, although, it had been a hell of a few weeks. She makes her way over to the door and in checking through her peephole realizes her suspicions were right.

"Hey." She says simply as she opens the door for him.

He walks in without a word, turning around to face her once he's in her hallway.

"Uh, everybody's asking for you at Molly's." he says it in a way more or less questioning why she never showed.

She tries to give him a reassuring smile. "Yea, I don't really feel like being social right now."

"Well Platt offered to buy shots which is a once in a decade thing if you want to reconsider." He smirks back at her.

She can't help but to applaud his effort, even though she knows it's not going to work. "I'm alright… I just kinda feel like being alone."

"Yea, that's not gonna happen, sorry!" he looks at her like she's crazy thinking he's going to leave her alone and starts making his way into her kitchen. "Wanna pour me a drink?"

He hears her scoff slightly, but chooses to ignore it. It's what they do anyway… pushing each other through their annoyances in order to break through. She begrudgingly makes her way over to the kitchen too, the tiny semblance of a smile on her face. She grabs a glass for him as she reaches her island counter.

"How's your head?" he asks as she starts pouring his drink.

"It's alright, a little sore."

Jay gives her an eek face. Then smiles at her while she's not looking. Secretly glad that she's okay, all things considered, and that this part of her life is finally over with.

"It's over, Hailey. You got him."

"Yea I know… it just doesn't feel as good as I thought it would…" she says sadly, grabbing her glass and the bottle of whiskey making her way into the living room.

_Oh boy_, Jay thinks. He grabs his glass and quickly follows after her.

"…It stirred up too many ghosts, y'know?"

He sits next to her on the couch, already knowing what she's thinking about. "Garrett?"

"Yea… he was the one that pulled Booth off me that night…"

She's shocked that she finds herself telling Jay this, she's never told anyone before, yet she can't think of anyone else she'd rather have know about this dark secret that still haunts her sometimes late at night.

"He stopped him from… raping me… killing me…"

Jay stares back at her sadly. "I'm sorry you lost him, he sounded like a great guy."

She nods her head. "Yea, he was."

Jay knows there's more to it. He recognizes all too well losing someone (ironically both also partners) you loved, albeit under completely different circumstances.

"You loved him?" He asks, already knowing the answer, and yet there's a small part of him that wants her to say 'no.' Which is crazy, why should he care who Hailey loves or loved? It's certainly not any of his business, yet he's starting to feel these days like everything with her is his business. He wants to protect her more than anyone else he's ever met. And that thought alone scares him to his very core.

She just nods her head at him in confirmation, tears welling in her eyes as her lip starts to tremble.

This is all becoming too much for her. She doesn't want to let Jay in like this, she can't. She has to at least try to get him to leave again.

"Anyway, uh, thanks for coming by, but honestly I'm fine…" her voice cracks as she says it and the look Jay gives her she knows he's not going anywhere.

That's her breaking point. The tears flowingly start to stream and Jay inches closer to her. He wraps his arm around her shoulder and tucks her head into his chest, just letting her get it all out. They stay like that for what feels like hours, not speaking. Both too afraid to until Hailey's emotions get a little more under control.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. I'm never this emotional around others." She finally breaks the silence, pulling away from him, a little reluctantly.

"Don't sweat it, Hailey. This case was personal and meant a lot to you. Besides, we're partners. If we can't be there for each other through the worst, than what's the point right?"

"Yea, I guess you're right. But enough about me, I told you about one of my demons, now it's your turn to tell me one of yours." She says as they both take another long gulp of their whiskeys.

Jay laughs. "Hailey, we would need weeks off at a time for me to tell you about mine."

She smiles back, the tears finally dry off of her face. "Well, I'm not going anywhere."

She looks at him and he stares back, and for the first time it's the most loaded reaction either of them has ever felt. It's as if they're staring into the other's soul, begging to be let in.

Hailey finally looks down and Jay breaks away by looking past her. "Good to know." He says gratefully, and genuinely means it because he knows she means it.

Hailey pours them another drink as they sit back and turn the TV on, watching the screen for a while having no idea what's actually playing.

After a while Jay speaks up again. "Y'know Erin never said goodbye to me right? Just took off without a word."

He doesn't know why he's sharing this with her, but she shared with him, so maybe he feels like he owes her one. The little voice inside his head is telling him it's _more than that_, but he does his best to bury it.

"I mean, I figured judging how upset you were. I knew she didn't tell the rest of the team, but everyone expected her to at least give you the heads up. We were all too scared to ask if she did. Working with you side-by-side everyday though, I knew she didn't…" she looks at him remorsefully.

"Yea, I mean, we weren't even really together anymore when she left, still, I thought I had at least been worth a goodbye to her…"

"Jay, it's nothing you did. She had a lot going on, and it seems needed the clean break. Was it wrong? Sure. But that's on her, not you! You're a great person who deserves to be treated as a priority."

He smiles at her, shocked for the unintentional compliment. It's certainly a night of firsts for them.

"I know that now, thanks to you."

"Me?" Hailey asks shocked.

"Yea… throughout this whole year you've always had my back, never wavered, despite some really stupid shit on my part. I've never had anyone behind me so much before, except for maybe my mom. It means a lot…"

It's now Hailey's turn to hide her slight blush at the subliminal compliment. "I'll always have your back, Jay. Nothing will ever change that. It's what partners are for, right?"

She echoes his similar words from earlier and he smiles at her. Both have never been happier that he took the chance and showed up on her doorstep tonight. Still, they feel like they're entering unchartered territory. Hailey decides to lighten the mood by turning on a comedy movie. They're grateful to end the emotional talk before it all gets a little too heavy.

An hour into the movie, and the bottle of whiskey now almost officially killed, Hailey ends up laughing hysterically at a certain part as she's taking a sip. Her hand shakes as she laughs and she ends up somehow spilling and spraying the drink in only a way a drunken person can. They both crack up. She shakes the stickiness off her hands as Jay realizes some splashed on her cheek. Without thinking he reaches his hand over and gently wipes it off. That's when it happens – a spark that neither can ignore, especially with their inhibitions down. They're both leaning in at the same time and start kissing.

It's innocent at first, but quickly takes a turn. Minutes pass as they forget the world around them. When they finally take a break to catch their breath, Jay looks at Hailey questioningly, silently asking if this is ok. She can't help it, she knows it's a bad idea, they both do, and yet, she can't stop herself. She ends his doubt by grabbing his neck, latching her lips back onto his and pulling him on top of her. From there, things escalate at lightning speed. Before they know it clothes are off and they're officially doing another first. It ends up being one of the most passionate nights for either of them, even in their drunken haze.

It's not until the crack of dawn, sunlight streaming through the living room windows, wrapped in Jay's arms on the couch with a splitting headache, that Hailey realizes the immense mistake they made. They're partners, neither of them can or should go down this road again. She slowly pulls Jay's arms from off of her and whispers his name softly, not wanting to alarm him, and also figuring he probably also has a hangover.

"Jay…"

"Hmm?..." he stirs and groans out.

She grabs her shirt from off the floor and quickly throws it on. Then starts to pull away fully from him and stands up. Her pounding head regretting that move.

"Jay, we have work in a couple hours. You have to get home…" she says politely, but awkwardly.

He finally sits up, their "predicament" from last night slowly coming back to him. The blanket starts moving in his lap and Hailey quickly throws his pants at him.

They stare at each other through their dehydrated haze, both thinking the same thought- _what had they done_!? Jay knows it was a horrible idea, but he also can't help wonder how a mistake could possibly feel so right. He knows Hailey is not going to share that viewpoint though, at least out loud nor especially to him at this point in time. He swiftly shuffles his jeans on.

"Hailey…"

"Jay…"

They say at the same time and Jay lets her have it.

"So I think it's best we just forget this ever happened and put it behind us. We don't need something like this complicating matters, especially with our track records. And what we have has been working so well. There's no reason to jeopardize that. Let's just keep things professional."

She says the words, but can't help but feel sad about doing so. If their situations were different, if she had met him at a different time in her life, if they weren't partners, maybe they could explore this and see where it could lead. Because truthfully, if she's being honest, she feels like it could be the start of something great… but they can't take that risk again. The reasons why made them drown a bottle of whiskey together last night.

"I completely agree. What we have right now is too important to screw up. And somehow, I always screw things up. I don't want that for us, Hailey…" he says it so sorrowfully.

"Me either…" she whispers back, the emotion pouring off of them.

They share one last look before moving along. "Alright, you mind if I grab some Advil then I'll head out?" Jay asks.

"Of course, I was just about to get some."

She goes to her bathroom and comes out with the bottle; both fully dressed now, gulping down water and the pain meds. Once that's done, Jay starts making his way over to her door as she follows.

"I guess I'll see ya at the office…" he says, unsure how else to say goodbye. Should he hug her? He doesn't want to make things more awkward than they have to be.

"Yea…" she gives him a small smile.

He decides to proceed with a joke as he opens the door. "Hey Hailey?.."

"Yea?" she eyes him suspiciously.

"You got some body under all that flannel you wear!" he winks at her and smirks.

"Get out!" she shoves him cracking up and giving him one of her biggest eye rolls.

He exits smiling, glad with his approach. They'll be fine. If anyone knows how to not make things awkward, it will be them. However, little did they know yet, this dance was going to go on for a while…

* * *

_[A/N: And just like that, another Upstead story!.. I will try my best to balance this one along with my episode-writeups one. Bear with me. Unsure how long this will be yet, but you bet that I know where it's going ;) Hope you enjoy and thanks again for all of your kind responses, I appreciate it!] _


	2. Chapter 2

It had been almost two months since Jay and Hailey slept together. To their credit, no one suspected anything between them, and they both managed to keep things strictly professional and just friendly like they agreed. It wasn't that hard to do with all the crazy currently happening in their lives. It all began to spiral even more once Al got arrested. Voight kept assuring them he was going to take care of it, and for the most part they believed him… until it was too late.

They can still hear the moment of the courtroom in their heads the day of Al's bond hearing, which would also end up being his last day alive…

_"Your honor given the serious nature of the charge and the fact the defendant was a veteran police officer with unique knowledge of the criminal justice system, as well as having access to confidential informants and members of organized crime syndicates, we believe he poses a significant flight risk, and as such, we would request that no bail be set and that the defended be remanded to Cook County Jail until trial…" _

_"…Mr. Minetti, this is a bond hearing not a closing argument. The defendant is remanded into the custody of the Cook County Jail pending trial." _

The gavel dropping after those words from the judge are echoing over and over in their minds.

Once the whole remaining team returned to the bullpen, clearly distraught, an argument between Antonio and Voight broke out. Hailey and Jay had been hovered together by their desks, trying to gain any semblance of hope back, when Voight started walking up the steps.

"Alright, so what's the next step Sarge?" Jay quickly asks.

"Did you talk to Al or his lawyer?" Hailey adds on.

"Is he gonna appeal the bond hearing?" Antonio chimes in as Voight starts loosening his tie and walking past them.

"Is he gonna appeal the bond hearing? HEY! I asked you a question!" Antonio repeats, clearly enraged that he's being ignored.

"Oh, uh, Al's gonna be out of there soon, real soon, ok?" Voight finally says, his emotions showing.

"What's that mean?" Antonio asks.

"Means I'm taking care of things, but I can't get into the details right now." Voight continues, clearly getting annoyed.

"Why not?"

"I appreciate your concern, but you gotta back off now."

"I wanna know what I need to do to help Al, and all I'm hearing from you is NOTHING!" Antonio starts pointing his finger at Voight, which is when the older man snaps.

"BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!" he yells and shoves Antonio.

Jay and Kevin quickly pull them away from each other as Kim interjects.

"Enough, enough!" she commands.

Voight walks in his office and slams the door shut, leaving the rest of his team behind alone and confused.

The six remaining stare at each other in the bullpen, Antonio quickly exiting without another word. Kevin decides to break the tension first.

"I don't know about you guys, but I can really use a drink. You down for Molly's?"

Kim and Adam gladly agree. Jay turns to look at Hailey and then back to the rest of them.

"Maybe I'll meet you there later. I'm gonna go home and change, see how I feel."

"Yeah, same." Hailey agrees, nodding at the other three.

Kevin, Kim, and Adam grab their coats and shake their heads goodbye at Jay and Hailey as they make their way down the steps. A couple minutes later with one final glance into their boss' office, they start making their way to their cars as well. It's not until they finally arrive at Hailey's car that they speak again.

"Are you gonna go later?" Jay asks her quietly.

"I don't know, I don't think so. I kinda feel like being alone." She smiles up at him sadly, echoing her words from a couple months prior.

Jay leans his head closer to hers, tentatively grabbing her hand and softly rubbing his thumb over hers. "You want to be along together?" he whispers, a faint smirk forming on his face.

"_Jay…_" she whispers back warningly. "It's probably not a good idea."

"We don't have to do anything. Scout's Honor. But we should probably talk about all that's going on."

"Yeah, okay, you're probably right. Let me see how I'm feeling once I get home and I'll call you in a few hours ok?"

"Yea, that sounds good. I'll even buy the beer." Jay smiles at her, causing her to laugh, her first of this dreadful day.

"Wow, this is a momentous occasion then." She teases back before entering her car.

He chuckles and closes the door for her. Both of them happy they'll get to unwind together in a bit… little did they know the circumstances would quickly change for the worse…

* * *

It was a few days later once Jay and Hailey could take a breath again, albeit a sad one. They never got around to their drinks the other night as they both got the horrible phone call that Al had been repeatedly stabbed in jail and was rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery. They can both still feel the moment standing around for news in the waiting room with Trudy and the rest of the team as Voight walked in, his expression solemn, and they all just _knew_. Jay quickly stormed out, not able to hold his emotions in front of them all as Hailey consoled Trudy for a minute, only to take a seat in the corner by herself. Once Jay finally returned, his emotions a little more in check, he immediately walked over to Hailey and put his hand comfortingly on her shoulder, as she reached up to touch his wrist. A quick movement, but a move nonetheless to show the other they were there for each other. Voight gave them all a speech that they would have time to grieve once they caught the bastard who was responsible for this.

The days merged together after that, working almost around the clock to find out who would dare do this to their teammate, their friend, one of their mentors. They had finally found out that Carlos Deleon, a member of the Cali Cartel, was responsible for the hit on Al. He blamed him for years over his little brother's arrest. It should have been their one win of the week, except in the takedown Voight ended up killing Carlos, and the only witnesses were bystanders claiming Carlos didn't wave his weapon. Antonio was nearby, but didn't see the shoot out, causing more tension between Adam and him. Adam believing Antonio should defend Voight no matter what since it was the person who killed Al. And of course on top of all that, Voight was stripped until the Internal Affairs investigation was concluded. It had been one of the worst weeks ever.

Once things settled some everyone but Voight gathered together outside over a cooler one night to tribute Al. Trudy told some emotional and funny stories of their younger days and they all toasted their fallen comrade. Hailey finally made her way over to Jay once everyone else started talking amongst themselves, she can tell he's not doing so well.

"Hey."

"You hear from Voight, cause he said he was gonna come by?" Jay asks her.

"No, I texted him an hour ago, but… I hope he's ok."

"Yea he loved Al…" Jay starts to say sadly. "That was his best friend, his priest, his shrink… "

"Yea, it's not gonna be easy…" Hailey replies somberly.

"No…" Jay agrees.

Jay pours some more of his beer on the ground in honor. Hailey gently places her hand on his knee, trying to offer him any amount of comfort. As much as she loved Al, her time with him was much shorter than the rest of theirs; and considering Al was a veteran too, she knows Jay really connected with him. He smiles back at her sadly, glad to have her through this. He's not sure he would survive otherwise.

"Can we get out of here?" he finally asks her after a couple minutes of silence.

She contemplates it in her head briefly, running through the pros and cons, but answering with the only thing she feels is right for this moment. "Yeah… let's go."

They say their goodbyes to everyone else and make their way over to Hailey's car as she drives them back to her place. Both of them know what's about to happen, but they don't dare broach the subject in fear of screwing it up.

Hailey barely has time to yank her key out of the lock after opening the door before Jay's lips are already on hers. She drops them on the floor, wrapping her arms around his neck while he locks the door, half carrying her into the kitchen. He sets her on one of the bar stools as he makes quick work of getting them out of their coats. She's already yanking his shirt off the second after he does, and he wastes no time with the rest of her clothing. He's kissing her neck when he feels her hands unbuckling his belt and after that they don't remember much else through their passionate haze except for the soft sounds of their moans.

A couple of hours later they're lying in Hailey's bed, cuddling and well satiated. Jay protectively holding Hailey in his arms more than normal couples would after their time together. After a while he softly speaks out.

"I can't imagine what Voight is feeling because the closest comparison to him losing Al to me would be losing you… and I don't think I'd ever be able to handle that." the words are pouring with emotion as he says them.

Hailey feels her heart burst and she knows she should close herself off again, but she just wants to enjoy this for a little longer.

"I can't imagine losing you either, Jay. But we're here, we're not going anywhere…" she tries to assure him.

"Look, I know we agreed that this was a bad idea, but can we just have tonight? I don't want to be without you. We can go back to normal tomorrow; pretend we're nothing more than friends then."

"I wouldn't let you leave tonight even if you wanted to." She reaches up to tenderly cup his cheek in her hand and he leans into her touch.

He gently puts his forehead onto hers and they just savor the moment of being together, being alive. They can figure everything else out another time, for right now, this is where they need to be…

* * *

_[A/N: Thanks so much for the amazing response to this guys, you're the best. It's been great wondering what it would be like had they gone this way in the show. And hopefully we get them for real in the actual show soon, I'm ready for it... in case you couldn't tell! Cheers to Upstead these coming weeks & thanks again._

_PS. Side note, if you come across any of my stories on Wattpad (& chances are any other Upstead stories on here), that is not us! Please Report This Person!]_


	3. Chapter 3

It had only been about three weeks of recovering from Al's death when Jay was thrown another horrific blow. His dad's apartment complex had gone up in flames, and while making it out after helping his neighbor, Pat Halstead's heart succumbed to its injuries from smoke inhalation. The last moment Jay had with his dad was arguing with him, and adding to the blow, the fire was also arson. Needless to say, despite Jay acting like he was fine and handling it, he clearly wasn't. Hailey knew this of course and tried to be there for him, but he continually pushed her away. She and Voight wanted him to take some time away from work and the case, but he refused.

After a day the team had discovered that the arson was planned to cover a hit of Edgar Torres, a well known drug lord. Their main suspect was Carlos Mendoza, Edgar's driver of years. In the takedown of Carlos, Voight instructed Jay to wait outside, of course he disobeyed. Hailey had heard them scuffling together and had almost shot them when she barged into the room. She was pissed and concerned about Jay, but he just brushed her off reminding her that all that mattered was they got him. Tensions between the two of them started to rise, and Hailey wasn't sure how to break through to him. While waiting outside the Interrogation Room as Carlos was being questioned, Hailey decided to broach the subject again.

"Y'know, if wouldn't be a bad thing to sit this one out."

He looked at her irritated, clearly not wanting to be handled with kid's gloves. "You need me to talk to you?" he asked her snippily.

"I don't need anything, Jay…"

"Alright, look, my father and I we never clicked. He didn't want me to enlist. He didn't want me to become a cop, guy didn't even show up when I graduated from the academy, he was embarrassed. So I learned to keep my distance, and now he's gone. That's it. I'm learning how to deal with it on my own. You don't have to question if I'm alright." He shakes his head at her and slowly walks out of the room.

Hailey looks on sadly before bowing her head, then turning back to watch the interrogation. She knows he's going to keep pushing her away. She's angered even more because she thought they were past that at this point, especially given everything that had happened between them the past few months. She just wishes she could be there for him, if only he'd let her…

* * *

As the case went on the team discovered that it wasn't Carlos who completed the hit on Edgar, but Carlos' son, Daniel. He followed his father's footsteps and became another low-level player in the cartel, but wanted to make a power move to rise up the ranks. Jay and Voight wanted Carlos to give his son up, but he wouldn't budge. It was then that Jay came up with the idea to bring on a fake charge on Carlos' "good son," Juan. Not everyone was on board with this, considering it was an innocent man's life at stake, and tensions started to rise even more.

"We pick Juan up, he's our access point to Carlos." Jay says while briefing the team.

"We ran Juan, we got nothing on him." Adam states.

"They don't know that. Contrary to popular opinion, father's have favorites. If we squeeze Juan, Carlos rolls on Daniel." Jay responds.

Hailey quickly interrupts. "Okay, it's too risky. We get Juan involved, then he's actually involved, the cartel starts gunning for him too!"

"Yea man, that ain't right! There's gotta be a better way to do this." Adam agrees.

"Like what?" Jay asks as the team all shares looks. "Exactly, we're at a dead end. I don't even know why we're debating this."

Hailey looks on aghast. She can't believe Jay, who normally shares the same moral compass as her, is even suggesting something like this. She recognizes that this is affecting him more than he's willing to admit, but she can't agree with what he wants to do.

"Because we're playing with an innocent man's life, Jay!"

"Five other innocent people died because of this guy's not-so-innocent brother and father. So I'm sorry if my heart doesn't bleed like yours!" he responds to her angrily, his frustration boiling over.

Hailey sits up straight now, completely shocked by his direct attack. "Excuse me!?"

As she's about to say more, Voight butts in to break it up. "Okay. That's enough. It's what we have, it's what we'll use. Bring him in."

Jay gives Hailey a pleading look, hoping she'll understand it. He knows he overstepped, but it's not like he can just come out and apologize in front of everyone. He hates that he keeps coming at her especially, but his walls aren't holding up as well as he'd like, and she's the one he's closest to. She's too pissed off herself at this point, so she just looks back at him in disgust and makes her way to the cars.

While Jay, Hailey, and Adam are waiting outside to grab up Juan, Hailey looks at Jay cautiously, fearing how he'll handle this situation. Things escalate once Juan comes out and refuses to go with them willingly. She knows Jay is ready to blow, but trusts him to let it play out. Wrong move. After talking with him didn't go the way Jay wanted it to, he quickly grabs Juan and puts him in a choke hold. While Adam tries to break Juan free of Jay's grasp, it's Hailey who finally halts Jay and pushes him off.

"Jay, back off. BACK OFF!" she screams as she finally breaks through to him. Once Adam has Juan in custody and safely away from Jay, she shoves him again for good measure. She's really angry that she trusted him to stay calm. "You good?" she stares up at him, her eyes fierce.

"Yeah, I'm good." He finally says raising his hands to show defeat. He's terribly irritated with himself now because he knows he keeps setting Hailey off too, but he just doesn't know how to stop himself.

* * *

A few hours later they get Carlos to agree to get Daniel's location as long as they release Juan. Jay heads over to meet Voight with Hailey before the takedown. He has a million ways he wants to apologize in his head, but nothing will come out.

"Hailey…" he starts while quickly looking over at her from the driver's seat.

"Don't Jay, not now. Let's just get through this." She says back to him coolly.

He nods he head at her and before he knows it the car ride is over and they're hopping out to talk with Voight, Jay having no idea this was a setup to keep him away from the remainder of the takedown.

Voight talks over the walkies, responding to Kim and Adam. "Alright, as soon as we get the location, teams move out. You get there first, you hit it…" he continues to confirm with Antonio that he and Carlos are good, and once he's sure he turns back to Jay.

"Jay… you're not coming!"

Jay turns to look at Hailey first, feeling betrayed. "What?" he asked them both shocked.

"Give her your keys and your two-way." Voight responds in his no-bullshit way.

"You gotta be kidding me." Jay says while replying to Voight, but only looking at Hailey, in complete disbelief.

She looks sad for him, but knows this is in his best interest.

"It's for the best, Jay. Keys and the two-way." Voight reiterates to Hailey again as he starts to walk back to his car.

Hailey finally responds to the situation, trying to be as soft with him as she can. "You're too close to this Jay."

"What the hell does that mean?"

She continues to looks at him sympathetically."He's your dad…"

"What did you say to him!?" Jay asks her signaling to Voight.

"I didn't say anything!" she replies defensively as they talk over each other.

"You don't know anything about my dad." He responds in anger again.

"I'm not pretending to!" she yells back, her frustrations starting to boil over now as well.

"No, you're just projecting whatever daddy-daughter crap got you screwed up!"

She ignores the low blow and just continues on. "Okay, I'm done being your punching bag. Give me your keys."

He stares down at her and she stares back defiantly.

"GIVE ME YOUR DAMN KEYS!" she yells again, completely over this whole thing at this point.

He shakes his head realizing she's not going to budge from this and hands her his keys.

"Two-way." she responds quickly, not leaving any room for a debate anymore.

He hands it over to her and she swiftly walks to his truck to drive away with Voight, not even bothering to glance in Jay's direction again. He's run her through the ringer these past few days and frankly she's over it. Jay sighs as he watches them drive off, hands on his hips. He knows he's overstepped, especially with Hailey, but he has to see this through. He owes his dad that much. He makes another foolish move and calls Severide to pick him up and gain access to his two-way.

Within minutes later Jay has spotted Daniel before his team could and is chasing him on foot down the streets of Chicago. The two come to a standoff while under an overpass, both shooting and striking the other. Jay hears Daniel gurgling out for help as he feels the blood on his side. He can't tell how severe his wound is, but is worried his vest didn't protect him. He knows Daniel is worse for the wear, so he crawls his way over to him, radioing for help. He feels for Daniel's pulse before collapsing on the cold, hard ground. The pain is immense and he knows he's bleeding pretty badly. If this is how it ends, he realizes that his one regret was going to be arguing with Hailey as his last moment with her. She tried to be there for him all week and he continually pushed her away. Leave it to him to screw up the one good thing that's come into his life the past couple of years.

He starts to hyperventilate, but swears he hears her voice come through his fog. "5021 Henry, officer down, I repeat, officer down, Lower Wacker and Columbus, Get us an ambulance… Jay!"

He feels her soft and warm hands on his chest now as he hears the fear and panic in her voice and Adam yelling in the background.

"Jay, you okay? Come on." She calls out as she tears open his shirt, quickly checking his vest once she does. "It didn't go through, it didn't go through. It's okay." She quickly says as she tries to maintain the shakiness of her voice and hands. "Jay, Jay, breath, breath. You're okay. Okay." He hears her trying to keep him and herself calm.

She puts her hand to his cheek like she did their last night together a few weeks ago and he leans in slightly, trying to hold back his tears. "Okay." She repeats again, and he's not certain if she's trying to assure herself or him more. She doesn't leave his side until the ambulance arrives, Voight calling her over to finally give her statement to the other officers. She keeps glancing his way though, through Foster's entire checkup and Voight reaming him out, Jay can feel Hailey's eyes on him. Once he's alone again, he sadly watches her walk back over to him. He owes her so much after this week.

He doesn't know how to start, so he just simply asks her about the job. "Daniel?"

She looks at him sorrowfully. "He was pronounced at Med. Antonio's with Juan and Carlos, he's taking them into protective custody. DEA says bodies are already dropping in Mexico, so…"

"So a happy ending?" he asks her and she just smirks at him as they sit quietly for another few seconds.

"Hailey, um… I just couldn't stop myself…"

They stare at each other, through the other's soul, both trying to hide the emotions they're feeling. There's so much more he wants and needs to say to her, but he's not sure how. Before he gets the chance, she's putting her hand on his knee comfortingly before she takes a deep breath and starts walking away from him. He forlornly watches her drift away, suffocating in regret as he puts his hand to his mouth to stop himself from breaking down.

* * *

Hailey does the only thing she can think of as she realizes she's about to lose it… she hops down from the ambulance bay, giving Jay one last pat of comfort, and starts walking away from him. She takes in deep breaths to try to squelch the tears that are inevitably going to fall. As she's doing this, Adam notices her and calls out.

"Hey."

"Hey." She replies with a shaky voice as she starts to break.

"You alright?" he says as he starts to follow her.

"Yea I'm fine…" she replies as she starts to cry, covering her face with her hands in hopes he'll ignore it.

"Ah yeah, that's the adrenaline." He says as he pulls her into a side hug to give her support.

Man, he couldn't be more wrong, at least, overall on why she's so upset. "I thought he was dead…" she finally admits, a weight lifting off her chest. She tries to wipe the tears from her eyes

"Yea, me too… Y'know what, you wanna get out of here and grab a drink?" he asks her.

Unsure of what else to do at this point with how much Jay had pushed her away this week, she agrees. Adam takes her to some dive bar across town and she quickly starts drowning her sorrows with whiskey. After a couple of shots, Adam starts eyeing her suspiciously.

"This is more than just potentially losing your partner, isn't it?" he finally asks her while sipping his beer.

"What do you mean?" she plays dumb, her voice still laced with a hint of sadness.

"Come on, Hailey. I may not be a detective yet, but I'm not stupid."

She nods her head and laughs a little at that. Adam sometimes didn't get the credit he deserved for being so perceptive. She admits that she sometimes thinks of him as a "meathead," for lack of a better term, but he always means well.

"Of course I care about him, Adam. He's my friend, my partner… when I saw him lying there like that, I thought that was it. And if so, my last conversation with him would have been me screaming at him."

"So why don't you tell him?" he asks her simply.

"Tell him what?" she's generally dumb now wondering what he could possibly be insinuating.

He just gives her a _seriously_ look back, realizing that she's not ready yet. While Adam had known Halstead for the better part of half a decade now, he never thought he'd come across Jay's match so perfectly. Wondering how in the world two people could possibly be so stubborn, and super smart while being completely aloof.

"Listen, while you may not be fully ready yet, it's completely clear that you need to be having these drinks with him." Adam says to her.

She swallows another gulp. "He's just going to push me away again…" she looks down sadly.

"Maybe, maybe not… But I think he needs you more than you know. You're the only one we've seen him seem to truly open up to… C'mon…" he pulls her glass away and grabs her elbow, signaling that they're leaving the bar.

Hailey starts trying to take big breaths as Adam drives them down Jay's street. She's not entirely sure what she's going to say to him when she gets there, but she knows Adam is right. She owes it to Jay to try to be there for him again even if he wants to push her away.

As they pull up to Jay's apartment, she turns and does something she wouldn't normally, especially to him. She gives Adam a hug for being a good teammate. "Thanks Adam!"

"Anytime." He smiles at her as she opens the door. "I really hope you two work it out, you both deserve it."

She just nods at him as she lets his words sink in, trying her best to ignore what he's implying. She takes one last deep breath as she heads up the inside stairs to Jay's floor. She knocks quietly, hoping he's not asleep. A minute later he appears at the door, his eyes red and puffy, revealing the tears he must have shed. Her heart breaks for him. He stares down at her with a mixture of relief and awe that she's there. She softly puts her arms around his waist, mindful of his wound, and pulls her head into his chest for a hug. It takes him less than a second to wrap his arms around her and hold her tight. After what feels like a lifetime, they make their way into his apartment. He grabs them two beers from the fridge as they silently make their way into his living room. The two of them are just enjoying the company before wanting to ruin the moment with words.

"Hailey…"

"Jay…" they both start and chuckle.

Normally he'd let her go first, but he feels like he has to get this out. "Before you say anything, can you just give me a minute to explain myself?" he asks her and she nods back.

If he's willing to open up to her, she's not going to do or say anything to squelch that.

"Hailey, I'm so sorry for how I treated you this week. You're the only bright spot I have going on, and I didn't think I deserved to feel anything positive. I was an asshole of a son to my dad in his final moments, and all I wanted to feel was the pain. All I wanted was revenge for having him be taken from me like so many others. I felt I didn't deserve your comfort or help, but I shouldn't have pushed you away like I did."

She looks at him mournfully, wondering how he could possibly think so little of himself. "Jay…" she starts to say softly, rubbing his back consolingly. "Your dad knew you loved him. He saw how worried you were to try to find him in that fire. Don't let a bunch of bad moments take away from the good. I'm sure he was proud of the man you've become, even if he couldn't show it. I know I am."

He smiles a little at her, grateful at her words as tears start to well again in his eyes. "Y'know, I went to his apartment just before with Will after the hospital gave me the all-clear. I went through his dresser and saw he saved articles from my time overseas and a picture of when I graduated the academy. I guess he really did care more than he let on… I don't want to turn into him, Hailey… I don't want to push everyone I love away because I'm too scared to let them in." he says so honestly, and then continues, the last part so soft she almost can't hear it, but she does. "_I don't want to push you away…_"

She can almost feel him chipping away at another layer of her heart with those words, and she tries so hard to not let tears get the best of her. She wants to be strong for him for the moment. "You aren't… and you won't..."

He purses his lips and nods back at her. As he leans back more into the couch, she notices him wince and quickly hops up to go to his kitchen. She grabs an ice pack and comes back out with it for his wound, giving him a stern look that he's going to put it on the bruising whether he likes it or not. He gratefully takes it from her as she sits back down on his good side, closer than they normally would while trying to stay in the "just friends" territory despite sleeping together twice (well, _way_ more than twice, but only two occasions.) Hailey feels herself blush a little as that thought crosses her mind. She can sense Jay maybe wants to say more, but he doesn't. And she's enjoying the comfortable silence too much to get super heavy and emotional again. She leans down more into the couch and pulls Jay's head onto her chest as they watch a reair of the game together. He starts drifting in and out of sleep as she rubs his arm and the exhaustion and worry of the day is catching up to her as well. She's just about to knock out herself when she hears his voice again.

"I know you don't want us to continue to cross the line, but can you possibly stay tonight? I'd feel better with you here. You're the only one I want around always." He softly admits.

"I'm not going anywhere, Jay…" she chokes back tears again at his admission. "And you better not either. You scared me so much today, I thought I lost…" she can't finish her words as she starts to get emotional again.

"You'll never lose me, Hailey, I promise…" she feels him shimmy off of her as he leans up to kiss her forehead. He shifts their positions, and mindful of his wound, wraps his arms around her and pulls her head into his chest, her tears dampening his shirt. He makes her feel so protected; they soon start falling asleep again. As she's drifting off she could swear she hears him whisper, _I love you, partner_… but she's convinced it's her mind playing tricks on her after the day they had. At least, that's what she's telling herself… she knows Adam would be shaking his head at her stupidity right about now, but baby steps are all she's used to, and that's big enough for now…

* * *

_[A/N: Can you tell this is one of my fave episodes by this being the longest chapter thus far? Haha. Anyway, thank you so much for the continued support. It means a lot! I'm hoping we get more Upstead in this coming episode (hello in trouble Hailey, and worried Jay!), & I will hopefully try to update my 'Feelings' story as well. Until next time, hope you enjoy/ed this chapter!] _


	4. Chapter 4

It's been about a month now since Jay's dad passed away. Since then, things had gone back to normal for Hailey and Jay, well as normal as they could be. They sought solace in each other when they needed it, but managed to not further cross any more lines between them. Of course, they'd both be lying if they said that didn't want to continue _that_ part of their relationship, but they both believe keeping their hearts guarded is the right move… for now. Luckily not too many of their recent cases had affected them personally since Jay's dad, until this week.

Today Hailey had done the unthinkable in her mind- she coerced an innocent man to confess to a murder he didn't commit (unbeknownst to her, but that's beside the point), preyed on his susceptible emotions, brought up horrible memories, which in turn lead him to killing himself in his jail cell before they could save him and tell him he was cleared. Not only was dealing with that horrific, but it drudged up all the memories from her childhood that she always tried to keep buried.

After crying in Devin Williams' cell across from his now lifeless body, Platt helped her up and forced her back upstairs; showing her rare moments of empathy and compassion. Trudy tried to console her as best as she could in the locker room, but Hailey just didn't want to hear it, she didn't deserve the sympathy. She felt the rest of the team give her looks of pity, most of them not knowing what to say, until shortly after Voight told her to take off for the day. Jay watched her the whole time, even coming up behind her to squeeze her shoulder at one point, a sign to just let her know he was there. She wasn't ready to talk though, especially at the precinct, and he understood that.

It was a few hours later now that he showed up with her favorite tequila and she finally opened up to him a little over her kitchen island. She wasn't sure how much she was willing to reveal just yet, but she knew if there was anyone she trusted to listen, it was him.

"He was telling the truth. Kid was at Humboldt Park the whole time. I was so desperate to get a confession I didn't even consider the fact that he could be innocent. I just kept poking at his pain- his wounds…" she said with evident tears in her eyes, bowing her head in her hands while simultaneously running them through her hair and sighing.

"Hailey- you did what you were supposed to do…" Jay sits right next to her and says as softly as possible. "You had a suspect in the box without a lawyer, you got him talking, and you exploited a weakness."

"I exploited a 20-year-old kid's tragic past…" she interrupts while taking another sip of her drink.

"All the evidence pointed to Devin. I would have done the same thing!"

Hailey sighs and runs her hands through her hair again. "I know… I just can't get over this."

She grabs her glass and the bottle and starts making her way to the couch much like she did after the Booth ordeal. Jay follows silently, sitting down right next to her barely an inch apart. He doesn't speak anymore, just waiting for her to continue, knowing she'll get it out when she's ready. After a few minutes of silence and their first glass of tequila long gone, she begins to talk again.

"I keep thinking about what Voight said to me too, when he was complimenting me thinking we got the right guy… 'Y_ou found the kid's weakness, made him vulnerable, and you buried his ass…_' He was right, I DID bury his ass. He may have taken his own life, but that's on me. He even asked me in the interrogation if I ever thought of killing myself, I should have seen the signs…"

Jay grabs the glass from Hailey's hand now and places it on the coffee table, then intertwines his fingers with hers. He's beyond caring about boundaries at the moment and she doesn't pull away.

"Hailey, this is NOT on you. The kid was clearly looking for an out, why else would he confess? He wasn't all there in the head, there might not have been anything you could have done to save him…"

"Yeah, exce…"

"No, no buts." He quickly interjects. "I know you Hailey, and I know you would have never purposely put him in harm's way consciously, even if he _was_ the killer. I also know there's not going to be much I can say to you right now that will get you over this, but I'm going to be here for you every step of the way." He brings their hands up to his mouth and kisses the top of hers.

She stares at him on the verge of tears again, but somehow finds a way to simply respond. "Thanks, Jay!" she whispers out as she leans her head on his shoulder and they sink more into the couch together. Not much has to be said after that; just the fact that he's there and always by her side is enough to get her through the night.

* * *

The next day in the case the team found out that it was actually Alderman Collier himself who put a hit on his wife. This brought drama on all ends, naturally. And Brennan was already pissed at the fact that Intelligence led to the suicide of an innocent man they accused. She wanted Hailey to go under review for it to gather all the facts. Throughout the whole day, Jay kept an eye on her, knowing it was still weighing on her. Finally he decided to broach the subject again as they waited in the car ready to take down Collier.

"I know you don't want to talk about it."

"That's a terrible way to start a sentence." She chuckles lightly causing him to smile, but he won't be deterred.

"I wanna make sure you're okay…"

She looks over at him, tears starting to well again. Jay really is the only one she's this comfortable around. "I can't believe he killed himself."

"I know. I get it." He looks at her sympathetically.

"Internal Affairs wants to look into it now. Apparently, they have concerns about my interrogation tactics."

"Screw that. You did it right!" he adamantly tells her.

"Maybe…"

"No, definitely." She nods at him in attempted understanding, but they get interrupted once they see Collier pull up.

Minutes later it's Hailey who has Collier cornered, and as she orders him to drop the gun, he refuses. She half freezes even though she warns him she will shoot him. Fortunately, Adam is behind her when Collier raises his gun at her and he takes the shot as Hailey stares off in disbelief. She manages getting through Voight questioning her and even manages to write up her report when they get back to the bullpen. But once that's all said and done, all she can think about is getting out of there for the day. If she was being honest, she'd like to for the month just to clear out her head. She grabs her coat off the rack and notices Jay carefully watching her. She makes her way over to him and leans on his chair.

"Wanna meet me at Skylark in an hour?" she asks.

"Of course. You heading there now? I can meet you the second I finish typing this up."

"Yea, no rush. I'll order us some wings so they're ready when you get there."

He nods at her and she starts to make the trek to her car in the garage. None of this was the ending she wanted, but she was incredibly glad this case was over. As she made her way to the bar, she had already decided she was going to open up to Jay more. After being so worried for her and consistently being there, she owed it to him to let him know how this case turned so personal to begin with. She preaches to him about shining light on his demons, so she should do the same. She's a few sips into her beer when she sees Jay enter and make his way over to the booth. She swears she notices his face light up the second he sees her, but maybe she's just being wishful. He plops down across from her and she does her best to smile.

"I'm glad we're doing this, Hailey." He smiles back at her.

"What? Eating and drinking?" she teases back, wanting to enjoy the lighter mood as long as she can.

He shakes his head at her smirking. "No, that you're going to continue talking."

"I'm still not sure where to start…" she responds, her hands outstretched on the table holding her beer bottle and slowly chipping at the label.

"It's okay. I have all night."

She smiles back gratefully and their food arrives soon after. They sit there quietly enjoying the ambiance. Once they're finished, Hailey slowly works up her nerve.

"When my brothers and I were little, my dad used to drink… a LOT… he would work so much at the restaurant, it just became his way to unwind. It wouldn't have been a bad thing entirely, except that he was an angry drunk. On particularly rough days, he'd take it out on us kids, and my mom… my sweet mom… she would defend us of course, so then he would start to take it out on her…"

She continues to look down at her beer and hands as she gets it all out. She's never told this to anyone who didn't know her back then, not even Garrett or her college roommates who became her best friends. Jay stares back at her, a mix of shock and sadness, but he's so appreciative she's revealing this to him. He knows it's not easy for her to let down her walls.

"One day it got so bad that my mom had to be taken to the hospital. We all lied and convinced them she fell at the restaurant. After that, she threatened to leave him and take us away. That was finally his wake up call. He sobered after that, but I never really forgave him, y'know? There was just so much trauma he inflicted, and not just physical… I actually thought that time we got robbed and he got his ass beaten was his karma… horrible right, to feel that way about your own father? Anyway, that's how I connected with Devin… and then once I found out Collier was a wife beater too?- this case was just a rough one…"

She finally looks up into Jay's eyes, not ready for the amount of compassion she sees behind them. She frowns at him sadly. He doesn't respond for a bit, but then he surprises her by getting up and coming onto her side of the booth. He sits down next to her and wraps his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his chest.

"I'm soo sorry, Hailey!" he says with such anguish. "I'm so sorry, and I know there's nothing I can do to take this pain away from you, but I'm so thankful you've trusted me with this."

She feels the tears well up in her eyes again as she buries her head into his chest. She feels him kiss the top of her head and wonders how she got so lucky to find such a partner, in so many ways of the word that she's not ready to admit yet.

"I'll always be here for you, Hailey, always…"

Jay continues to whisper to make her feel better. It helps, but she's certainly not there yet. She knows getting this off her chest was the best thing for her though, and there's no one else she'd rather share it with. They eventually make their way back to Hailey's later in the evening, with Jay insisting he's not leaving her. She agrees, not wanting to be without him. He holds her tightly all night long as she gets her best sleep in days; Jay like a comforting human blanket she could stay wrapped in forever…

* * *

_[A/N: So this was really hard for me to not include my fave scene from this episode- their slightly awkward and tension-filled convo after Adam shows up; but it just wouldn't align within the confines of this story. Good thing though cause that just means that it's just Upstead in this version and no sign of Upzek. Not to negate any of their fans, of course. Anyway, hope you enjoy this one and thanks again for everything! Your continual reading commitment means a lot. I have a few more chapters of this story coming your way.] _


	5. Chapter 5

It had been a couple weeks since their last big case involving Alderman Collier. Hailey had been doing surprisingly better thanks in part to all of her consistent talks with Jay (and Platt even) over the first few days, much to his relief. He always hated seeing her down. She was his voice of reason and he owed it to her to bring her spirits back up. Also, if he was really being honest, his moods were tied to hers… seeing her happy always made him ecstatic, and in the reverse, her being sad made him want to cry and steal all the pain from her. It was a little scary how much he was feeling for her at this point. So it was only natural, that now as he was attempting to talk Jake Miller down from blowing up the mosque or whatever else he had planned, that her words from days ago rang in his head…

"_I know, but you're not in Afghanistan anymore…_"

She was right, he wasn't, but he couldn't help but feel a huge part of this was on him. He should have seen the signs earlier that Jake was struggling with his return from the war. Instead, he let the biases he subconsciously still had take hold and assumed it was Akeem behind the bombings… all because he was what, a Muslim!? Jay hated that he didn't see any of it, and that he allowed his perspective to be blinded. Because of all this, he wanted to make Jake wake up and realize this too. These were American civilians Jake had been targeting, not trained Afghani combatants. Not that it should matter, because in the hard reality of things, no life deserved dying over pointless wars. Maybe one day the world could align to see that… but today is not that day, so the least he could do was hope he could convince Jake to break free of the mentality. Unfortunately, he couldn't. There would be no saving Jake that day, or any.

"Miller, you are a War Hero, act like it!"

Jay remembers hollering out those last words before Kevin grabbed on to Jake's arm holding the detonator, allowing Jay to reach for his gun. It pained him that he had to be the one to take the shot, but he just couldn't reach him. And there was no way he was allowing him to take any more innocent lives. He leaned against an FBI truck in the aftermath, still struggling with it all. He just wishes he could have seen it and gotten to Jake days ago. All he wanted to do was get home and drown his sorrows, hoping the demons of his past didn't take hold again. He sensed Hailey walking over to him, a small part of him glad she was probably going to squelch his plans.

"Hey, give you a ride home? I'll buy you a beer." She says to him, resting her hands on her vest… wanting to reach for him, but knowing it wasn't the time or place.

"Thanks, I think I'm just-"

"Yeah, I know you want to be alone, but this is just part of the thing, so." She says interrupting him as she leans on the car next to him now.

He can't help but smile, she always brings it out in him. "What thing?"

He knows she can't be referencing what they dare hardly bring up or mention. Besides, they haven't _slept_ together slept together since the week they lost Al; not that he wouldn't love to, but they have really tried to be good.

"It's a thing that works between us. Bad case, one of us doesn't want the other around. The other one stays anyway. We talk. We feel better, and we're able to go to work the next day. It works." She says simply, slightly shrugging.

_Ahh, __that__ thing,_ he thinks to himself. "I screwed up, Hailey. It didn't even occur to me that Miller could be involved."

"If it's on you, it's on me too…"

"No, you had a bad feeling. I couldn't even see it. A lot of horrible things happened when I was overseas. And I know I can't just, like, flip a switch and turn that off, but I do the work. You learn to deal with the triggers and the stress. The war was a part of my life. It's not who I am… not anymore. I just had no idea I had any anger. Or bias…"

He breaks off and Hailey rests her hand on his arm. "You just saved thirty lives. Thirty Muslim lives. That's a good day! Don't be so hard on yourself."

He nods at her, knowing she is right, _again_. "Thanks."

"Buy you a beer?" she asks him again.

He just signals to her for them to go. As they start walking back over to her car, he can't help but be forever thankful again for her being in his life. He intends to keep her there always in whatever way she'll allow.

* * *

Hours later they're stumbling up the steps to Hailey's place as the Uber drops them off. Things got a little crazier than they intended at Molly's and Hailey had to leave her car behind. Stella had been bartending that night, and a slew of Firehouse 51 guys had been there. They had all heard that Intelligence beat the FBI to catching the bomber and naturally wanted to buy them round after round. It wasn't the quiet talk neither Jay nor Hailey had intended on, but the laughs did them all good. Every one of their jobs had been extra stressful the past few months and they deserved the downtime and fun.

Jay wobbly makes his way over to Hailey's couch, kicking off his shoes under the coffee table as if he lived there himself. Hailey didn't seem to notice how comfortable he was there or around her, and if she did she didn't comment. She just grabbed them a bag of chips and another two beers as she met him in her living room. They quickly popped the bag open and started munching. After a few minutes, Jay started chucking to himself.

"What's so funny?" she raised her brow at him.

"Nothing… I was just thinking we should make this another one of our things."

"What, inhumanly gorging on chips?"

He laughed harder, practically snorting. "No, get tipsy and have fun."

She stares at him deadpanned. "I am always fun."

Her serious face breaks up as she starts cracking up along with him before continuing.

"Yea, you're right, we definitely deserve lighter times. Who'd have thought this law enforcement lifestyle would be so somber?" she jokes.

"On the streets of Chicago, no less. I thought it would be a tap dance!" he smiles and they start giggling again.

They quieted for a bit after that and started fighting over the remote. Hailey won out, of course. So they continued sipping their beers and snacking as they watched an old rerun. After the first show ended, Jay spoke up again.

"Y'know, Severide asked me tonight if we were hooking up."

"Yea?" she looked at him out of the corner of her eye, trying to not seem too interested.

"Yeah…"

"What you tell him?"

"I said no, of course… I mean, it's kind of the truth… it's been months…" he says the last part softly.

"What made him ask that?"

"I don't know, said he picked up on our flirting or something…"

What Jay didn't want to tell her is that Severide also mentioned how Hailey looked at him when he wasn't looking. He wasn't exactly sure what Severide meant by it, but his buddy then kindly told him that _he_ did it to her as well. Needless to say, Kelly didn't buy Jay's lie, but he played along.

Her eyebrows rose again as she studied Jay this time. "Do we flirt?"

"I mean, I have seen you naked on multiple occasions…" he says while shrugging.

She picks up her pillow and hits him with it as he raises his hand in defense.

"What, it's the truth!"

"_Jay…_ we shouldn't be discussing this!" she chastises.

He sighs. "You're right." He says looking defeated for a second before he gets a knowing look in his eye. He leans in closer to her and even though she tries to fight it she feels her heart flutter. "We shouldn't be discussing it, we should be acting on it…" he whispers.

"Jay…" she manages to choke out back, putting her hand up on his chest, her last form of defense to push him away knowing what's coming. Even _she_ knows her fight and resolve is pointless in this moment.

Knowing he has her approval by just one look into her eyes, he leans down and kisses her. She doesn't even try to stop it, just wraps her arms around him and pulls him even closer. Before she even realizes it, she's ripping his shirt off and throwing it behind the couch. He practically growls as she runs her hands down his chest. He wraps his arms around her waist and lifts them both off the sofa, carrying her to her room. He's determined to _start_ in the bed this time; he has big plans for them…

They wake in the morning after a near sleepless night, but both completely relaxed and blissful despite. Jay smiles at her as she nuzzles her head into his chest. She doesn't wasn't to face the reality, but she knows she has to. She can only guard her heart so much.

"We are gonna have to talk about _this _one day. It can't keep happening…"

He runs his fingers down her arm. "I mean, _it could_…" he smiles at her teasingly, fully knowing she can't resist his charm.

"I'm serious, Jay."

"I know… well, we can return to our serious copper selves after we shower."

"After _we_ shower?" she questions, leaning her chin on his chest as she stares up into his eyes.

"Yea, I mean, after last night we definitely have to shower before work. And it just makes sense to do our part and save water." He grins at her and she laughs while rolling her eyes.

"How can you possibly still have the energy?" she asks wide-eyed.

"For you, Hailey, I have the stamina of a teenager still! C'mon, I'll prove it, _Again_…"

He quickly gets up from the bed much to her shock, only to surprise her more by lifting her and throwing her over his shoulder as he runs them to her bathroom. Hailey's laughter echoes throughout the house and Jay swears that if there's only one sound he could hear for the rest of his life, it would be that. He carries it with him throughout the remainder of the day, knowing it will get him through whatever they decide to be…

* * *

_[A/N: What a fun end to 6x07 this would have been right? ;) Wish we got to see them be carefree in the show more often. Thanks again for all the love you give to this story and any others. It's much appreciated. There's a couple more chapters to come. Next we just have to get through the fall finale and the long wait for its return. Really hoping we get some good Upstead & Jay doesn't worry us TOO much!] _


	6. Chapter 6

It had been months now since Jay and Hailey started consistently sleeping with each other after the Jake Miller case. It was at least a weekly occurrence now and they didn't even try to stop it this time. They sort of developed a "don't think, don't speak of it" attitude. Jay wanted more, but he knew not to push Hailey as she was still trying to maintain keeping her walls up. And it worked for them because fortunately no one in the team suspected anything more than just their normal close relationship amongst themselves. This week they were on a case to grab a dealer selling China White. Jay was undercover in a club with one of his CI's as party-goers, while Hailey was under as a cocktail waitress named, Candy, working the apparent criminals' card game. She was decked out in full makeup and a barely-clad dress to sell the part. At the start of the night Jay couldn't resist tempting fate and teasing her.

As he watched her walk up the stairway from the bar, he whispered on the frequency that was just for him and her. "You are totally coming over tonight and wearing that. You won't believe the role-play fantasies I have going on in my head right now, screw this case!"

"JAY!" she whispered back sternly, and he could _feel_ the look she shot down at him from the top of the balcony. He chuckled to himself before he went back to behaving.

A few minutes later he reached out to Adam and Kevin, wanting to hurry this along. "We got eyes on the supplier yet?"

"Yeah facial rec just popped. Matthew Garrett lighting up the board, he's got multiple drug arrests." Adam responded.

The hairs on the back of Jay's neck stand up and he feels his anger start to trigger. "Matthew Garrett? That's not possible."

"Yea, Pontiac Prison, he just got released."

Garrett pops his head over the balcony randomly and Antonio comes running over to Jay. "That's our guy!"

"Son of a bitch! This can't be happening!" Jay responds.

"What are you talking about?"

"I got history with him, he can't see me!"

Jay gathers his things to start leaving and waits for his CI to meet him by the door so they can exit together. Right then Garrett comes down the steps and notices him.

"Hey yo, yo I know you!" he hollers out.

"Nah, I think you got me mixed up with somebody man." Jay tries to keep walking.

"Nah, nah, nah, you're that cop. HOLEstead!"

Jay can't control his temper and starts walking back towards him and gets in his face. "You're the punk that murders teenage girls, Garrett!"

"What you gonna do cop, ya gonna hit me? That's what you wanna do? C'mon, please right here. Please take a swing, I'm begging you. I'm begging you please. Oh my God, Chicago PD, they might give me another 200k, maybe even more. Right here sweetheart, don't miss!"

"Come on, let's go, this dude ain't worth it." Jay's CI starts pulling at his arm.

"See you around, Halstead. You coward!" Garrett starts yelling after him as they walk away.

"Who is that?" she asks.

"The devil…" is all Jay can respond with.

* * *

A couple hours later, Jay is sitting with Hailey in his living room. She knew he was irked by whoever this Matthew Garrett was, so she made sure to leave her outfit from the club on in case he needed the boost. Unfortunately, Jay was no longer in the mood.

"So, you gonna tell me about it?" Hailey finally breaks the silence from their beer drinking, feeling she had been patient enough.

Jay sighs, knowing he has to get it off his chest eventually. "About a year or so before I joined Intelligence, we had been eyeing Garrett. We couldn't pin him, so I got a little aggressive with him and they took me off his case. Shortly after, Lauren Sanders, a 17-year old who ran away from home disappeared. Garrett had been pimping her out. Lauren's mother was scared he was going to kill her, and he did. We found her bloody clothes in a dumpster, but never found her body. We couldn't make the case and Garrett continued on free, a murderer, until finally he got popped on some drug distribution. He was supposed to be in for 20 years, not nearly enough, but we gladly took anything we could to get his scum ass off the streets. Now, somehow only 7 years later the bastard is roaming free and back at it."

He puts his elbows on his knees and leans his head into his hands as Hailey rubs his back.

"Hey, we're gonna nail him again, you know that right? We'll get him." She tries to comfort him.

"I know, but, for how long? What's the point of the system if he'll just be out again in a few years anyway? And he'll still be getting away with murder."

"Maybe this case will somehow shed some light on Lauren's. We have to focus on the positives, Jay. The negatives will eat us alive otherwise."

She moves her hand up from his back to stroke his hair lightly and he leans back into her on the couch. He knows she's right, but he also knows he's already too invested on this case. He has to try to stay level-headed though because he can't afford to have Voight pull him. He looks at her and smiles.

"Thanks, Hailey!"

She leans in and gives him a quick kiss as they settle on the couch together, just enjoying the comfort of the other for a few moments.

"Sooo… Can I get a raincheck on your outfit? You don't have to return it right?" he looks at her hopefully, trying to bring his humor back to the forefront.

Hailey just laughs and leans her head on his shoulder. "Sure, Jay!"

A couple days later while Adam and Kim are supposed to make their buy with Garrett, Jay goes off book and finds him already shot in a warehouse, barely hanging on. He tries to get him to give up the location of Lauren's body before he dies so he can at least give Lauren's mom some semblance of peace, but the prick refused. He died a minute later and it's been a shitstorm since. They thought they could have had their murderer in Garrett's associate, Santana, but while Hailey watched the footage from the warehouse she found he was telling the truth. She also came across a blip in Jay's version of the story, so she called him to come meet her.

"Hailey, what's up?"

"Hey, uh, I got some footage from the warehouse. Turns out Santana was telling the truth. He left out the back door at 12:05. This next part might be a bit of a problem, though. You said you got to the warehouse a few minutes before us?"

"I'm not sure exactly, but yeah."

"Okay, well, according to this you were there a full ten minutes before us…"

Jay debates on how much to tell her. Voight had told him to keep his mouth shut. "I mean, I must have been in there longer than I thought."

She looks at him skeptically. "And then you shut off your radio before you went inside?"

"Yea, what are you saying?"

"Jay, you went dark before you went in the warehouse. You weren't even supposed to be there in the first place. You were alone with Garrett for ten minutes, and you never called it in. If anyone looks at these facts given your history with Garrett, they're gonna assume that you had an agenda."

"Is that what you think?"

Hailey looks at him as if he must be joking, of course she'd never think the worst of him. "Come on!.. And it doesn't matter what I think, these are the questions they're gonna ask you! Did you have an agenda?" she starts raising her voice, now concerned for him and the position he put himself in.

Jay finally decides there's no way he's not going to confide in Hailey, despite what his boss told him. "The deal was blown, I thought Garrett was gonna disappear, so yeah, I went after him. I didn't know what I was gonna do when I saw him. I didn't know. He was already bleeding out when I got there."

"And then what did you do?"

"I knew he wasn't gonna make it, and I tried to make him tell me where her body is."

Hailey puts her head in her hand, now evidently worried for him. "Jay… you crossed lines, you didn't render aid." She says much softer now.

"I know…"

"That's official misconduct; you can go to prison…"

Before they can continue, Jay's phone starts buzzing with a message.

He gives her a grave look. "Homicide wants to talk to me…"

She stares back at him with a hint of fear in her eyes. "Okay. It'll be fine, they don't know anything yet. Just tell them everything Voight says to tell them. He'll know how to get us through this."

It doesn't go unnoticed by Jay that she says "us" instead of him, but he doesn't have time to think about that small victory in their… whatever this was… at the moment. He nods his head at her and gets up to leave so he can get the meeting with Homicide over with. She reaches to grab his hand before he walks out fully and he gladly takes it, clutching onto her like she's his life force. They share one last look before he exits the room and Hailey sighs and dips her head back into her hands, hoping this will turn out alright for him.

* * *

Fortunately for Jay, and Hailey, and all of them, the team discovered later that day that it was Gus, the Narcotics officer who arrested Garrett originally, that killed him. With the true murderer caught, Kelton waived the investigation on Jay, clearing him of any potential misconduct. As he sits with Hailey having a drink in "celebration," Jay wishes he could feel better. Sure, he was cleared, and that scumbag was dead, but none of that would bring back poor Lauren. Hailey could sense he still wasn't back to himself.

"Long week…" she said, hoping her smirk would help the tone.

"Yeah…"

"You alright?"

"I just keep thinking about Lauren's mom. She'll never have closure…"

"I get it, but you can't right every wrong, Jay. There's just some things, some people, you just gotta let it go."

"How are you supposed to be a good cop and let things go? What's the point of the job?"

"Point of the job is to do the best that you can. Then you go home, pretend like the bad stuff never happened." She tries to look at him like it's so simple before going to take another sip of her beer.

It's now his turn to look at her skeptically and smirk. "Is that what you do?"

She smiles back. "No…"

"Yeah, I didn't think so…"

They take another sip of their beers, grinning at each other as Hailey's phone buzzes on the bar. She turns it over to look at the message. Jay looks at her wondering who it could be.

"It's Adam. He said everyone is going to Molly's to celebrate and that we should join." She fills him in.

Jay shrugs his shoulders at her and looks a little glum again. "Yeah, I'm not really in the mood to be social..."

She smiles at him. "Yea, I didn't think so… You want to get out of here?" She asks while getting up from the stool.

He looks at her curiously. "We didn't finish our beers yet. And I thought you wanted wings?"

She comes up behind him and wraps her arms around his neck before leaning in to whisper in his ear. "I thought maybe you could take up the raincheck on my dress tonight?"

He feels the shiver throughout his body from her hot breath against his ear lobe and the suggestion of her words. His response is a barely formulated or coherent mumble as he quickly stands from the stool, yanks out some cash from his wallet and throws it on to the bar. He then grabs Hailey's hand and starts dragging her out the door while she chuckles, pleased with herself.

"I've decided you're right, Hailey. We are going home and going to do the best that we can with all the naughty stuff."

She looks at him curiously as they reach his truck. "I believe I said _bad _stuff, Jay."

They get in and he smiles at her from the driver's side. "It's a correlated word, Hailey, it totally counts… plus, it's gonna feel so _good_ once I get you out of that dress…"

"Oh God…" she shakes her head and laughs at his corny humor. She'll give him this; just happy to know she's given a boost to his spirits, and to something else... She's starting to realize she can't fight these feelings at all anymore, and she's more than okay with it… not that she'll admit it to him anytime soon, but that's a chapter for a different day.

* * *

_[A/N: This story is almost coming to a close. What a fun ride it's been so far. I've enjoying delving into the what-if's of Upstead giving into their feelings earlier on. Now, we just need them to get their *bleep* together once the show returns. Thank you all again, and Happy Thanksgiving!] _


	7. Chapter 7

Another month has gone by and Jay and Hailey still have yet to have "the talk." They both know they should and are aware it's inevitable, but what they have going on is working. Jay doesn't want to push Hailey in fear she'll want to run away from them, and Hailey is just still too scared to admit her feelings out loud. So they pleasantly go on pretending that nothing has to be said or discussed; or even that they have to put a name to their "relationship."

Tonight is just another night of lounging on Hailey's couch after another doozey of a day. Joe Cruz had come to Intelligence thinking he figured out the potential fellow firefighter involved in the recent string of robberies. Unfortunately, by the time they located Calvin Suggs he had already been shot dead. Later in the afternoon, an upscale condo complex had an alarm triggered and the two of them went to check it out. When Jay came across the second perpetrator, he discovered he was just a teenager who was trying to administer CPR to the guy they had robbed who had a heart attack. The kid ended up saving the guy's life with his quick thinking, and even though Jay tried to get him to stay put, he fled the scene before Hailey could catch him. Jay still couldn't figure why the kid would stick around and risk getting caught if he really was an experienced criminal hardened enough to kill Suggs. It just didn't add up.

"I just don't think they did it, especially the kid I came across. He tried to save a guy's life, not take one." Jay says to Hailey as she's lying on his chest.

"I get it, but they're the only ones the evidence is pointing to right now." She responds, glancing up at him.

"Maybe, it just doesn't add up. He knew I could have shot him if I wanted to and he didn't even attempt to reach for his gun. He just kept saying, 'I'm sorry.'"

"Hopefully something will turn up to piece things together when you and Kim check out that CFD youth program tomorrow."

"I hope so. I feel like Suggs and those kids deserve for us to find out all the answers. I just don't see them running this robbery ring."

"I'm just glad the kid didn't reach for his gun. That was a big risk, Jay, trusting him to wait and be apprehended." She says softly.

"Why? Would you miss me if he shot me?" he squeezes her closer to him as he teases her.

"Shutup!" she chuckles back.

"I wasn't scared. I knew I'd have you running up to save me if anything. Plus, it'd be pretty hot if you had to give me mouth to mouth!"

"Pfft, who says I'd save you? I'd go to resuscitate the civilian first, he's probably not nearly as insufferable."

"Ouch Upton, that hurts! You just lost your chance of getting lucky tonight!"

Hailey laughs and leans her chin up to stare at him. "Ohh yea, surrre… like you could really resist me." She whispers, moving her head closer to his.

"I could if I wanted to…" He tries to say adamantly as he feels her kiss his neck and gulps hard. "…I just don't want to tonight…"

"Mhmm."

She manages to get out nodding her head in a _yea right_ stance before he kisses her, officially ending all discussion for the remainder of the night.

* * *

A couple days later Hailey knows she's busted about her feelings for Jay. After they got Aiden (the teenager who Jay had been defending all week) to try to trap Kamen, the gang leader who really killed Suggs, it was like all of her emotions had been set free. She had been so proud of Jay for trusting his instincts, even though everyone else thought and all the evidence pointed to him being wrong. When she found Jay pointing his gun at Aiden yesterday and trying to talk the kid into dropping his, she had been so scared. It would only take Aiden a second to raise his gun and get a shot off on Jay, even though they both would instantly shoot him if he did. Still, it would just take the one shot for Jay to be seriously injured, or worse. But she trusted Jay, and she knew he believed this kid to be good, so when he looked over at her and shook his head for her not to shoot, she trusted Jay's instincts too. It was just _that _simple. She never had that with anyone else, a literal _blind trust_.

So naturally when Jay asked her about it in the Observation Room a couple hours ago, she couldn't help but be honest, maybe _too_ honest. She saw the look Jay had given her after she told him she would follow him blind and she knew he knew. She quickly bolted out of the room because there was no way she could deal with that at work, but she's patiently waiting for him to arrive now. She's already ordered the pizza, wondering where this next conversation that's destined to happen will take them. She doesn't fear it anymore though because she's learned at this point the thought of not having him around is scarier than trying to let him all the way in. Luckily she doesn't have to analyze her thoughts for much longer because a few minutes later she hears the familiar knock on her door.

"So how did it go with Cruz and Suggs' wife?" she asks him as he makes his way over to the couch.

"Not terrible, actually. She was a little hesitant to take the money at first, not wanting charity from a bunch of police who accused her husband of the worst. But once I told her that he was exactly the man she thought he was, and that we'll do everything we can to pin it all on Kamen, she opened up more. I don't think we're going to be at the top of her Christmas list, but I think she was grateful of the work we put in."

Hailey smiles, knowing him being able to bring the woman some closure was a massive weight off his shoulders. "That's good. I'm sure clearing his name will be a huge relief to his family and the CFD."

"Yeah, but enough about that for now. I'm sure you know what _we_ have to talk about." He says as he taps his knee with hers from their seats on the couch.

She smiles back at him, playfully acting dumb. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Mmm, sure... So a certain 'if I was going to follow someone blind' conversation doesn't ring a bell?"

"I say that to all the guys!" she replies and they both laugh.

He looks at her more seriously before leaning back further into the couch and facing her. "Alright well, if you don't want to start, then I guess I will. I've been avoiding telling you I want more because I didn't want to freak you out, and I wasn't 100% certain you felt the same, but after tonight I know I was wrong. Hailey, I've completely fallen for you. Hell, I think I fell for you a while ago, and I want you to be mine. I don't want to hide anymore, not from the unit, anyone else, or from us. We deserve to be together and take this next step without fear of the past. You make me the happiest I've ever been and you're the only one I've ever fully opened up to. And it wasn't just your words tonight that made me realize you feel the same, the way you looked at me, Hailey, and the way you backed me when no one else would, I _know _you feel it too. Please don't fight it anymore."

Hailey smiles softly at him as she tries to hold back tears. She leans back with him against the back cushions of the couch, their heads nearly touching, and grabs his hand before replying.

"I won't. I do feel it and want this too. And I promise I won't run from it anymore. You've made my life whole, Jay. After the past and childhood I had, it's not something I ever thought was possible, but you singlehandedly proved me wrong. You make my life better and happier everyday and I couldn't love you more for it. I can't picture not having you around and I don't want to. I really would follow you wherever. You mean the world to me, Jay."

She says it so earnestly Jay is almost shocked. He can't believe how lucky he got simply from her completely taking over a crime scene and walking into his life forever. She wowed him then and she continues to wow him now. He wipes a tear from her cheek and grins at her.

"So, like, how blind would you follow me?" It earns him his favorite eye-roll. "I'm just saying, like, would you follow me into a men's room at a Bears game, or…"

She grabs his face and kisses him to shut him up. "How about I start by following you into the bedroom and we'll go from there?" she finally replies.

Jay nods his head. "That definitely works."

He quickly stands up and pulls her with him, dragging her down the hall as they both laugh. It had certainly been an interesting nine months between them, but the one constant that always remained was their teasing friendship. It was also the one thing why they knew they were destined to work- because no matter how bad things got, they'd always have each other to bring them out of it…

* * *

_[A/N: So full disclosure, I had originally intended for this to be the final chapter, but with the hiatus and long wait to find out what happens to Jay and Upstead, I figure I'll do one more. So standby for that, and thank you so much for following along thus far. I appreciate your fandom love immensely!] _


	8. Chapter 8

A few months have now passed since Jay and Hailey made their relationship official and came out in the open. No one in the unit was really surprised, and Voight didn't give them any issues, he just wanted the HR paperwork for the books. In their personal lives, they couldn't be happier, which was good because their work life had become turmoil. Kelton was trying to reign down on them all, which would for sure happen if he became mayor and they couldn't stop his crooked ass. This week was their final attempt to pull a rabbit out of their hat of tricks, coinciding with the closing days of the election. Their main play was to get a drug dealer, Wilson Young, who was on Kelton's books to shed light on all the corruption. They first intended to do this by posing as a robbery crew and ripping off his drug money, and it fortunately worked.

Hailey had such an adrenaline rush after pulling off the fake heist that she couldn't help but to take a minute to joke around with Jay. It was a nice reprieve to share some lighthearted moments at work again for once.

"That was a $500,000 rip… that we, can't tell anyone about…" she says as she smiles at him. He chuckles with her slightly.

"And if this whole thing doesn't work out we're gonna go back to writing traffic tickets."

"Would your sergeant at Organized Crime take you back?"

"Ha no, he holds grudges, he was so pissed when I left… Besides, I'm going where you go!" He says adamantly.

"Yea?" she replies back to him with slight flirtation.

"Yea, it's hard to find a good… partner." He winks at her, wondering how long they can play this game at work.

She smirks back. "That sounds good to me... but we both know Kelton won't let any of us stay together… besides Jay, didn't you ever hear the expression 'absence makes the heart grow fonder?' Imagine coming home after a long day of not spending every moment together, oh the possibilities!"

She says it assuredly, but they both are trying to avoid their fear of being torn from each other at work. They're the only ones they trust completely to have the other's back, and if they're being totally honest, they enjoy seeing each other all the time. It has yet to get tiring. Hailey knows she'd miss Jay terribly if she only got to see him at home for a couple of hours before bed.

Jay stops checking the money for a second and moves closer to her. He rests one hand at the small of her back as he starts to nuzzle his face into her neck. "Hmm, do these _possibilities_ fall in the realm of what we did on my birthday?"

"Maybe…" she whispers seductively.

Jay's just moving his mouth up to kiss her when they hear the garage doors open and the rest of the team barreling in. They quickly break away, still wanting to maintain their professionalism at work even though everyone now knows. They share a looks that reads _to be continued _as Kevin starts to speak while him, Voight, and Adam walk over.

"Hell of a load, Sarge!"

Jay tries to choke back his laughter of the pun as he whispers one last thing to his girlfriend. "He's certainly not wrong!"

She shakes her head at him sternly, but he does notice her lip twitch up in a slight smirk before Voight starts talking to them. No way are they going to be okay with Kelton breaking this up.

* * *

Hours later Kim intercepted a conversation between Wilson and another drug dealer connected to Kelton. The dealer, Trey, was willing to meet Wilson to setup another buy of half a million to make up for what was ripped off. The team headed over to the meet early to get in position. They just wanted to catch Wilson to tie to Kelton, but if they could get both guys, what a win that would be.

Jay and Hailey are staked out in the surveillance van, waiting for everything to go down. As much as Jay wants to continue their conversation from before, he knows now is not the time or place and keeps his hormones in check. Instead the two of them focus on what they're going to do for dinner. Jay suggests going out to eat to celebrate, assuming they're going to end this Kelton fiasco once and for all in the next few hours. As Hailey is agreeing, they hear Kim and Adam announce they're holding down their positions, signaling Wilson is arriving.

"Copy. Solid eye on the front." Jay responds back to everyone.

Less than a minute after they start to hear machine guns going off really close to where the van is. They're just about to get up, Hailey grabbing her gun as they hear Voight yell, "Move, Go!" Before they can get any further though, the machine gun starts firing at _them_, the bullets easily piercing through the van.

Jay reacts instantly and jumps on top of Hailey, grabbing her down with him to the floor. Somewhere in the distance he can recognize his own voice telling her to "Get down," but it sounds so far away because his thoughts right now are literally only about Hailey's safety and protecting her any way he can.

He remembers the hanging Kevlar vests and as he does his best to shield Hailey with his arms, he reaches up quickly to grab one without letting her go, swiftly wrapping it around her. Once he's sure the majority of her back is covered, he wraps her head tight into his, praying he's blocking all of her vital parts in some form. He doesn't care what happens to him, as long as she's okay. He feels the van shake as the bullets continue to pierce through, and the noise is so loud it almost brings him back to his army days. Back then there was no one as valuable as Hailey to him to protect however. Finally, thankfully, as quickly as it started, the shooting ended. He leans back a little to look into Hailey's face. As shaken up as she looks, it seems like she's alright otherwise fortunately.

"You okay?" he quietly asks while still holding onto her.

"Yea, you?" she says, visibly shook as she stares back into his eyes.

"Yea…" he leans his forehead onto hers and pulls her in tighter if only just to relish in the moment that they both survived. He then gives her forehead a kiss, needing to feel her warmth that she's alright. She wraps her arms around his waist and moves in closer, if it was even possible.

"Jay, Hailey, you good!?" Voight yells into the radio.

"We're good, we're good!" he yells back to his boss as he eases his hold on Hailey slightly, not ready to let her go fully just yet. He hears Voight tell them not to exit until it's all clear and figures that gives them some time for their nerves to settle. His heart is beating out of his chest solely for the thought that he could have lost her, here, right now, thanks to some asshole banger. Thanks to Kelton, who is threatening them losing their partnership as well. Jay's jaw clenches in anger- who would protect her like this on another unit? There's no way he's willing to see that _ever_ play out. Hailey notices the change in his mood instantly. She frees her arm from his embrace to touch his cheek.

"Hey, it's okay. We're okay… I'm okay!... thanks to you, Jay! I don't know what I'd do without you always protecting me!" she tells him softly.

He grips her waist harder as she says it and stares into her eyes seeing the emotion behind them. "Let's just hope it never comes to that!" It's the only response he manages to get out as Voight rips open the door just then to check on his detectives. They both haven't seen him look so relieved in a long time. Jay begrudgingly pulls away from Hailey to help them both sit up. Kevin and Kim come running over to check on them as well and Jay does his best to put all his emotions aside. He kisses Hailey's cheek then and with one last glance and small smile he exits the van to assist Antonio and Adam. This incidence giving both of them another taste of why they don't want to be split up from working together.

* * *

Much later in the day Hailey is sitting on top of her desk while some of them depressingly listen to the campaign news. Wilson was now dead thanks to the shootout and Trey was in the wind, leaving them without any remaining ammo to take down Kelton before his election. It's been a hell of a day already and she's nervous to see what can possibly happen next. She's already gone through so many emotions and the sun hasn't even set yet. The one ray of light today had been Jay nonetheless, like it usually is. She still can't believe how he tried to save her without even a thought to his own safety. She expects nothing less, but the thought of potentially losing him again (especially if it was while protecting her) still sends shivers down her spine. If it wasn't for his quick thinking and reaction, they'd both probably be dead, and she's eternally grateful it didn't come to that. Speaking of the devil, she sees him walking up the steps towards them and right past, looking visibly stunned and not even glancing her way. She can only imagine what's happened now as she hops down and follows him to the break room.

She finds him leaning over the sink clearly upset and her heart breaks a little seeing him like that. "Hey. What's going on?" she says, cutting right to the point.

"I have NO idea… Voight just left and he said something about … about me running the unit…" his voice drips with emotion as he responds. "_We lost_…" he looks completely deflated as he says that last part and her heart breaks even more.

"If Kelton is who he is, his time for a reckoning is coming."

Jay scoffs, "Not in time for this unit… _for us_…"

He looks at her so vulnerably while saying it; she thinks she's going to break. She's not sure how to ease his fears at the moment when she can't even ease hers. So she tries to go for a little joke.

"We've only been partners a couple years, you'll forget about me just fine…" she grins.

"_Hailey…_" she watches him choke out her name and shake his head, clearly not in the mood for the joking.

"Jay, I don't want to be split from you at work as much as you don't. I don't want to be split from the 21st period. You've all become my second family, but if worse comes to worse, at least we still have each other, right?"

"Hailey, I don't even care about the team being split up right now. I care that if God forbid something like today happens again to you on a different unit, who will be there to protect you? I cannot lose you!"

"You won't!" she tries to assure him, but if falls flat because it's her fear too of no one watching his back while on the job if she's not around.

"Hailey—" He tries to continue, but they get interrupted by hearing Platt come into the bullpen, which can't be a good thing with how this day is going. So for the second time today, they give each other another _to be continued_ look, only this one much less fun, and make their way back outside; ready to face whatever is next.

* * *

_The_ call came over the radio a little after 10pm… Kelton was dead and their whole world changed yet again. Already at this point Ruzek was in jail, Antonio was cryptically MIA, and Voight arrived to the crime scene eerily late. They all had their suspicions, but no one dared utter them. It wasn't until 4 in the morning that Jay and Hailey finally left the crime scene. Voight had released what was left of the unit so they all could get some shuteye for a few hours before they'd have to continue this crazy case. The two of them had never been happier to get back to Hailey's house. They grabbed her best bottle of whiskey and two glasses before making their way to the bedroom to attempt to turn in.

After they changed partly into pajamas, plopped on her bed, and had downed a few sips of their drinks, they started discussing the day again. "You think Voight did it?" Jay asked her.

"I don't know, you really think he's capable?" she replies in her reasoning tone.

"Do you not know Voight by now?" Jay quirks his brow at her.

"Yea, but we're not talking about some deadbeat killing someone he was close to. We'll just have to see how it plays out."

"It's crazy, we went from almost having the unit torn apart, to it being saved in a way, but with potential to lose our boss and be down two members… Where the hell did Antonio go?" Jay asks sadly.

Hailey sighs, trying to not feel complete defeat. "I'm sure he'll turn up. And Voight will find a way to get Adam back. It will all work out. Now that Kelton is gone, it has to!" she rests her head on his shoulder as they both lay against her headrest.

"Well, at least the one silver lining of today is I get to keep my partner." He gives her a small smile that she gladly returns. "So what I didn't get to finish saying before in the break room is that today made me realize I can't lose you at any cost or form. I love you, Hailey."

He looks down at her sincerely, his eyes filled with so much emotion and promise as she looks back up at them. She swears no one in her life ever has or ever will look at her the way Jay Halstead does. It's something that used to terrify her, but now she knows she couldn't survive without it, and she knows she looks at him the same.

"I love you too, Jay! And I'm not going anywhere."

"I know. I just need you to know that I intend to spend the rest of my life with you. There's no one else for me. You're the person I never thought would be possible for me to find, someone who for once puts my needs before their own, but also allows me to be there for you. I haven't had that since my mom was alive, and I don't intend to ever let it or you go. I swear once everything at work normalizes a little again, I'll be down on me knee so fast asking you to officially be mine… this is my promise to you- partners forever, in every way!"

Hailey feels the tears in her eyes well up at she stares back at Jay's misted over with sentiment. Had you told her a few years ago there'd be a guy who could break down every single wall she put up she wouldn't believe it, but she's never been happier to be wrong.

"You're the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with, Jay. I want it all with you. And whenever the time comes, the answer will always be yes. You've had me forever since the beginning of our partnership."

She smiles brightly at him as a few stray tears fall and his beams back equally as bright. He brings their lips together in a kiss filled with love, hope, and promise. Neither have a clue what they're going to walk into at work later today, but they both know that whatever happens they'll be fine because they'll face it together. Finally relinquishing their independent nature and letting the other in had been the greatest cure they could ever hope for. They no longer had to dance around or bury their feelings, not just for each other, but in general...

* * *

_[A/N: Thank you all so much for following this story so devotedly and for all the kind reviews. I realized that I've managed to post something every week, or two since Summer, and while I may not love every word I've written, I'm amazed I've found the time. And the only reason for that is for the love of this fandom and its fans. Seriously, Upstead peeps are THE BEST! So thanks so much from the bottom of my heart. I enjoyed all of your plot suggestions in the reviews of my last story, and I hope to release at least another one-shot shortly. Until then, warm wishes to all!] _


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